How To Deal with Loneliness

Hello everyone. I want to share something personal today. I've been kinda lonely for the past month. I tried scheduling Zoom calls with my friends twice last week, and both times, no one could come. I tried going out for coffee with my friends too, and they bailed.

I'm living with my family, but it's very hard seeing the same people, and I can't talk with my family about the things I can discuss with my friends.

So how do you deal with loneliness, especially when you might be quarantined or isolated? I'm here to help you!

Step 1: Embrace your alone time

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This might seem counterintuitive but when you are lonely, embrace it. Do things you can only do by yourself. Dance around your room to music. Spend time in prayer or mediation. Workout and go for walks outside. Sit outside in the mornings. Read a long book. Learn to appreciate the time you have to be alone.

Step 2: Don't wait for someone to connect with you- connect with them!

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When you're lonely, ask yourself if you're doing anything about it. No one can help you if they don't know about your loneliness. Don't wait for others to reach out to you. Call someone out the blue. FaceTime people. Send a handwritten letter. Drop off cookies at your neighbor's house.

(That being said, if people are "too busy" to connect with you as I experienced in my intro, go back to Step 1. It's not your fault if you're trying.)

Step 3: Practice extra self care

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Loneliness relates strongly to depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. Make sure to take good care of yourself if you're feeling lonely. For example, take a bubble bath and do a face mask. Treat yourself to a dessert or fancy coffee. Sleep in. Whatever you need to do for yourself, do it.

Step 4: Stay busy and productive

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Alternately, if you're feeling lonely, try to distract yourself by staying busy and being productive. Write down a list of things to do and try to do all of them. Study, work, start a project, try out a new skill. Staying busy will focus your attention and energy away from your loneliness and onto something productive.

Step 5: Disconnect from technology

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Technology really sucks sometimes. Especially when you're scrolling on social media and see your friends and acquaintances out and enjoying the world, getting together, and you're alone. Try to cut down on screen time to prevent jealousy, FOMO, and lonely feelings.

Step 6: Avoid loneliness triggers

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Likewise, avoid general triggers of loneliness. For instance, this is a weird one, but I sometimes feel lonely after watching romcom k-dramas. It's super random but it makes me feel a little depressed watching how happy and friendly everyone is and relating that to my own life. If something makes you lonely, just stay away from it.

Step 7: Stick to a daily schedule

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I mentioned staying busy before, and a similar technique to deal with loneliness is to make a schedule. Write down your schedule and follow it meticulously. It'll make you focused and create a routine that will help you feel more calm and meaningful.

Step 8: Plan for the future

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Maybe it's just me, but I love planning. I make goals and resolutions all the time. I think about the shows I'm going to watch, places I'm going to go, and food I'm going to eat long before I do those things. Planning gives me something positive to look forward to. With that mindset, I highly suggest planning to remind you that loneliness won't last forever.

Step 9: Love others

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What makes people feel good inside? It generally isn't buying things- that feeling only lasts a short while. It actually is helping people. That good feeling lasts a long time. Try to do a good deed and something positive for others, whether it is those around you or even a stranger. It'll give you purpose and fill your heart with love, replacing the loneliness.

Step 10: Love yourself

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All of the steps so far have been beneficial to loving yourself. But if you're dealing with loneliness, this is the most important. Reach out to yourself. Write your feelings down in a journal. Say affirmations to yourself. Treat your body well. Embrace who you are. Remember- you're the one you should love in this world.

Bonus: activities for dealing with loneliness

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  • do an adult coloring book
  • go out for coffee and pastries
  • bake or cook something new
  • sleep in
  • write in a journal
  • try positive affirmations or gratitude
  • write a letter to someone
  • call someone on the phone
  • exercise
  • read a book
  • watch a documentary
  • learn a new skill- ie. language, dancing, hairstyles, calligraphy, etc.
  • do a face mask
  • have a long, relaxing bubble bath
  • go for a walk outside
  • listen to a positive podcast
  • text someone "good morning" or "good night"
  • sketch or paint something
  • open up to someone you trust
  • volunteer if possible, or donate
  • make a bucket list
  • make a playlist and listen to it
  • read a magazine, poetry, webtoon, or comic
  • clean out your room or house
  • write a story
  • mediate or pray
  • sit outdoors
  • eat a big and nutritious breakfast
  • make a smoothie
  • drink herbal tea
  • play video games
  • try afternoon tea- a fun and unique afternoon idea for lazy days

That's all. Hopefully this helped you out! Stay safe and be fantastic!